The first look at the 50 Shades of Grey movie came out yesterday. I decided to read up on the content of the best seller to get an idea of what so many of the women who attend church are excited about. I am confident that the movie will achieve the same results as the book. Women getting all hot and bothered by a man who has some obvious and deeply disturbing issues. Now that it’s a movie, and visuals are involved, I am sure men will be just as motivated to see it.
This movie is marketed as “hot and sexy”. Christian Grey is depicted as the ultimate bad boy. However, as the story unfolds, it becomes less sexy and more easily resembles Hannibal Lector.
Christian Grey is following the progression that every psychopath and serial killer follows:
- Mutually satisfying intimacy is not fulfilling < Begins experimenting with violent porn.
- Violent porn is not fulfilling < Sex with partners becomes more intense.
- Consensual rough sex isn’t satisfying < Sex without consent is the new obsession.
- Rape does not offer enough dominance < Fava beans and a nice chianti is the next step.
I am really shocked that women are so openly getting excited about this. When I approach them to ask why, they don’t seem to see the problem with it, they just say “I think it’s hot.” I can hear the sound of 100 years of feminism being flushed down the toilet with these words…”I think it’s hot.” Like a father watching her teenage daughter get on the back of a motorcycle with the biggest sleaze ball in high school I feel the need to shout out “Please Stop!”
More to the point
This brings up a really important point about sex and the way we think.
Whatever you think about becomes your obsession, and obsessions are never fully and finally satisfied.
In other words, if a guy watches soft porn he will eventually obsess with hard-core porn. Over the period of a few months, this completely changes his standards of what is fulfilling and satisfying with his sexual partner. Now, most obsessions don’t lead to rape or fava beans, but these obsessions lead to a very sad place. For both men and women involved in this process, sex with their spouse becomes eventually un exhilarating. It’s just … sex. When the idea of sex with your spouse is not exhilarating, the relationship is doomed. Here are the ways most couples try to fix this:
The woman starts believing she must condition her body into porn star material and become an gymnist in order to meet her husbands sexual standards. This never works. Achieving a porn star body competes with the woman’s natural desire to eat chocolate and to be her own woman. Also, even if his wife were a porn star this would eventually become old hat.
The man must become a millionaire playboy and the obsession of other women. Then, your mind decieves you into believing that sleeping with your husband is now a hot “marking of your territory” kind of thing. For obvious reasons, this doesn’t work. Mainly because becoming a millionaire playboy competes with your husbands desire to eat nachos and play fantasy football.
There is, however, the perfect answer. Unfortunately, this answer is usually deemed the opposite of hot and sexy. Instead of trying to feed your obsessions, that are never fully and finally satisfied, control your obsessions by controlling what you think:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
The most important thing about you are the things you think about. The people you think about. From this very private thought life, comes your obsessions. If you are able to control your thought life , you are able to control your sexual obsessions.
Your sexual appetites are part of a sexual progression that you have complete control over.
But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. James 1:14-15
The result of giving full vent to your sexual obsession is like shooting yourself in the foot. It’s the same progression as an alcoholic or a crack addict. At first there doesn’t seem to be any consequences, but if left unchecked, it becomes an anchor chained around your neck.
For these reasons, 50 Shades of Grey could not be more perfectly titled. It’s a slow progression. It feeds the sexual desires and fuels a thought life that seems innocent but is completely self-destructive. The scenarios you read create thoughts that deeply affect who you are and your relationships. This is one area that the New Testament strongly warns us against.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18
If you are a follower of Christ or new to the faith, this is the most important command to understand and obey. In the book of Acts, when the church was flooded with new believers, the church leaders did not want to overburden these young converts with excessive commands. Instead, they simply gave them a few things to begin immediately. In Acts 15:29, they write to the new believers and command them to flee from sexual immorality. The trailer makes it pretty clear, this is someone who wants to be like Christ should avoid.
Please don’t just go along with the fad. Abstain from sexual immorality by abstaining from 50 Shades of Grey.