I’ll never forget July 2011. I had just gotten married and returned from our honeymoon in Costa Rica when my wife and I moved to Howell, Michigan—a place we knew absolutely nothing about. I was teaching elementary school at the time, and my wife was getting ready to start her Ph.D. program at Michigan State. We chose Howell because it was halfway between our commitments, but everything else about our life was completely new: new marriage, new home, new neighborhood.
It felt like the moment we got back from Costa Rica, reality hit us: “Okay, now you have a new life. You’ve got to figure out how to live it.” In that season of uncertainty, we reached out to our friends Todd and Sarah. They’d been married for a while, so we asked them to pray for us as we tried to navigate all these new things in life.
What Todd did next changed everything for us. He opened his Bible and read something that would become foundational for our marriage: “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him for one year. He is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.”
Todd turned to me and said, “Misha, this means you’re going to have to say no to some things that you’ve said yes to in the past so that you can say yes to Britney more.” That piece of wisdom, delivered at exactly the right moment, has been everything for our life ever since.
This experience taught me something crucial about wisdom: while it ultimately comes from God, it often reaches us through the people He puts in our lives. Throughout scripture, we see this pattern. God is the source of all wisdom—the Psalms tell us that “in wisdom you made them all,” and Job declares that “to God belong wisdom and power.” Even King Solomon, arguably the wisest person who ever lived, recognized that wisdom is better than gold and insight more precious than silver.
But here’s what excites me: God wants to share His wisdom with us. James puts it plainly: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” The only conditions? Acknowledge you need it, ask for it, and believe He’ll provide it.
I’ve seen this play out in my own life repeatedly. When I started as a youth pastor at 2|42 in 2013, I was completely out of my depth. I’d been teaching first graders on Friday, and suddenly on Sunday, I was a high school pastor. I didn’t even know what high schoolers looked like! My first assignment was taking students to camp, where I was surrounded by a thousand high schoolers and about a hundred other youth pastors who clearly knew what they were doing.
So I set two goals that week: getting to know our students and getting as many phone numbers from those youth pastors as possible. I spent the rest of that summer calling those numbers, showing up at their youth ministries, and grabbing coffee with them. I filled three or four notebooks with their wisdom and insights. Looking back, I know that without those many advisors, we would have failed at pretty much every goal we had that first year. Instead, we succeeded.
This runs counter to our current culture, doesn’t it? Today, we can do everything from home, to work, shop, watch new movies, and even feel like we’re connected to friends just by scrolling through social media. We’ve designed our world to minimize human interaction, right down to choosing self-checkout at stores to avoid talking to cashiers.
While I’m not anti-digital (I actually love a lot of the digital stuff), I am anti-isolation. The World Health Organization recently deemed loneliness a global health threat, and our US Surgeon General compared its mortality impact to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Our mental health professionals can’t keep up with the levels of anxiety and depression, much of it connected to loneliness and isolation.
Here’s what I’ve learned: isolation is often just a mask for pride. It’s easier to google something or ask ChatGPT than to humble ourselves and call a friend who could help. But as Solomon said, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.” When I look back on my life, the seasons where I made the wisest decisions, where I grew the most, where I’m proudest of my choices—they’ve all been when I was surrounded by many advisers who were seeking God’s wisdom.
That’s why I’m so passionate about getting people connected in small groups at our church. Sitting in rows during a service doesn’t create community—community happens when we intentionally share life experiences with others. In our small groups, we study scripture together, have fun together, serve together, eat together, and pray together. We’re all on a discipleship journey, trying to figure out what it means to live out what Jesus taught and modeled.
My wife and I joined a small group in August 2011, just weeks after we started attending 2|42, and we’ve been in one ever since. It’s too important for our marriage and our faith journey to do without. I know there are obstacles—busy schedules, introversion, past disappointing experiences with groups. But here’s what I’ve found: while not every group is for everyone, there is a group for everyone.
Because here’s the truth: wisdom is better caught than taught. Knowledge comes through lectures, but wisdom requires experience and relationships. When you surround yourself with people seeking God’s wisdom, you benefit from what God shows them, and they benefit from what God shows you.
So let me ask you: are you surrounded by people who are seeking God’s wisdom? Not just people you see at work or church, but people who are actually in your life, experiencing life with you? If not, I encourage you to take that step toward community. Ask God for wisdom, believe He’ll provide it, and surround yourself with others who are doing the same. In our increasingly isolated world, choosing community might be one of the wisest decisions you’ll ever make.
My story started with a piece of wisdom shared by friends at just the right moment. Who knows? The next piece of wisdom you need might come through the community you build today.
Are you interested in taking a next step of joining community? Here are two options for you to choose from.
Check out our website for more information. We always welcome new friends to worship with us. Find a location that’s close to you!
You can learn more about our beliefs and visit our video library to explore more topics like this one. You can also check out our events page to find out what fun new things we’re doing this season.
