Most people think the Bible is against sex, or if you’re having sex you should not enjoy it. You can have sex, but make sure it’s boring! Actually, the Bible is really pro sex. This may be a shocker, but God actually invented sex. God wants you to have lots of sex, that is why he gave you a sex drive.
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is actually worried that people aren’t having enough sex. He starts by speaking to the single crowd.
Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman?” 1 Corinthians 7:1
Paul is making a point that being single and being untethered by marriage frees him up to do so much more for the kingdom of God. He more fully explains this later in the same chapter (1 Corinthians 7:32-33) However, he has to admit it isn’t working for everyone. In fact, people are lusting and giving into temptation. Paul is not a robot, he knows that this temptation is incredibly strong. So he makes the following concession:
But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:2
In more modern terms, “If you can’t keep it in your pants, get married and have as much sex as you want.”
50 Shades of Grey
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
If you put sexual domination in a “naughty girl porn book,” as many have called it, it considered “hot”. Find scripture that says a spouse should be willing to give it up at the request of their spouse, and it’s considered “misogynistic.” Obviously, this is different, but I hope you see the point. Sex can be good even when it is only fulfilling the needs/wishes of your spouse.
One of the most hurtful things a spouse can do is hold out. Sometimes holding out is a form of control (especially when men withhold sex from their wife). Maybe, you really just aren’t in the mood. For whatever reason there are times your partner wants it and you say “not tonight.” This isn’t just harmful to your relationships, its also setting up your partner for a fall. As a single man, you can hear Paul screaming at the page, “They want it! Give it to them!”
Have Lots Of Sex
Sexual temptation was a dominant force back then and I believe it’s only more so now. With sexuality dripping from every part of life. You rarely go through a day without a sexual temptation from advertisements, Facebook posts from a friend, porn and sensuality in every television show.
Get married and have lots of sex!
Not just when you’re in the mood, but when your spouse is in the mood. Obviously, a sensitive spouse needs to care for the “headaches” and other things that make sex less than appealing. However, you have an obligation. If you want to keep your spouse from sexual immorality, lust, porn, adultery (sin) you need to make their sexual needs a priority.
What if I Am Single?
This is hardest part of this verse to translate in our culture. We are very concerned with finding Mr./Mrs. Right. We spend years dating and sometimes years being engaged. We are terrified of marrying the wrong person. Yet, I would beg you to think about how well that is working out for our culture. People spend so much time finding the “right one,” yet divorce is far higher now than it has been in any other time in history. Which leads to this point. It isn’t as important who you marry as it is your mutual commitment to each other once your married. You will fall in and out of love with the person you marry, but are you committed to them? Will you do whatever it takes to make it through the tough times? Those questions don’t get answered by finding the right spouse. Those questions only get answered after you get married and face some trials.
What’s my advice for singles struggling with sexual immorality? Hold on to your seat belt, this advice comes straight from the Bible.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Don’t marry a moron. In fact, as a general rule, if you are with a moron stop dating him immediately. Don’t even date people you would never consider marrying. If you are a Christian, find a Christian with a solid belief if Christ and marry him/her. I give the same advice I give to anyone struggling with sexual temptation……
Get married and have lots of sex!