We feel the pressure of the “shoulds” from others around us. They are similar to the scenarios we have in our own minds about ourselves, but they are far more intrusive because it feels that people are judging, rating, or ranking us. These “shoulds” make us feel defensive and angry and also illuminate some of our own dark secret shoulds. When we live in the shoulds of others we are no longer living our life. We are living someone else’s version of our life. We must learn to say “no” to the shoulds of others.